Day 3: Kanchanaburi and Bangkok

After the Tiger Temple, Uzi had another treat in store for the Heckermachers.

Monkeys!

Despite signs saying not to feed the monkeys, not only were people feeding them, but a family had set up a monkey-food concession stand.

After visiting with their simian friends, they visited a temple in a cave. Taking pictures of the Buddha at the center of the temple was forbidden, but this woman selling fortunes at the entrance consented to having her picture taken. 

Once outside the cave, Uzi urged the Heckermachers to walk the railroad bridge, telling them he would drive around and meet them there in ten minutes.

Here he is telling Tim to "watch out for the train."

The extremely worried Heckermachers started across the bridge, terrified that the train would come barreling along at any moment. Where would they go?

Fortunately, the train did not come. They later saw the train, which was both smaller and slower than the G. Plus painted with rainbows. They unfortunately did not get a picture. 

Uzi took them to a funky cafe for lunch. He and Tim sat and had adult conversation...

...while Anna chased chickens. 

Uzi had been teaching Anna how to order food in Thai. She surprised the waiter by asking for Thai iced tea in the native language. 

Afterward, they visited the famous Bridge over the River Kwai. The train did, in fact, come while they were crossing this bridge. It was not even remotely terrifying.

Following their historical experience, they had a very long drive back to Bangkok. Traffic moved smoothly until they got into the city, at which point it stopped completely. Despite being in total gridlock, nobody honked. Clearly, they were no longer in Brooklyn. 

That evening, the Heckermachers eschewed the many fancy restaurants around their hotel and dined at a ramshackle bar along the river. They were the only patrons, and at first the proprietor assumed they wanted a boat - apparently a side business for the restaurant. 

Once they were seated, with large, sweaty Chang beers in hand, the proprietor cooked them up delicious noodles in a giant wok. Between the makeshift furniture, bartop crowded with random bottles, and colorful Christmas lights, they couldn't help feeling like they'd stumbled into a Burning Man theme camp.

The ferries gliding by, draped in rope lights like art cars roaming across the Playa, did nothing to defray the illusion.